Life- and getting the most out of it.

I most often will start a blog with "I've come to realize", or "I've learned"... primarily because I'm always learning something new about myself. Today's blog will be no different, I think I'm putting this in here because things will seem a little repetitive in wording. Fact is, I'm enjoying life today, and having been on the edge of insanity, ready to die- I figure now that this life is worth living, if only to help another human being learn to face it.
I've come to realize by reading some other blogs that life isn't always easy. We are faced with difficulties every day in one form or another... today I am looking at someone else's life and learning to be even more greatful to be healthy and free of my disease's grips. You can learn a lot from someone else's life's issues. I actually ended up on this site originally to read someone else's blog. It contains facts about one man's struggles with leukemia- I'm learning that he's no ordinary man, because he's faced death nearly- and has come through it shining and smiling, the most recent quote being "I have too much shit left to do". I love that- I really do.
My step-father's family actually knows this guy somehow. I remember when my grandfather was dying of cancer, when I learned I was pregnant with my first in the year 2000, he went on one day about needing to get up and get ready to leave for the Buskirk wedding. (my grandfather was another of those who defied some odds and held on until the bitter end with a love for life, not wanting to let it go.) Anyway, I've heard this name for the past ten years nearly, and although the reasons suck as to why I've come to regard this man so highly, I'm so greatful to him- and to God for teaching me that no matter what is going on- no matter how far down I go, I can look at it optimistically and hold my head up. We all have shit left to do, and if God isn't ready to take me, why on earth would I want to help the evil one along by giving into the pesimistic option of laying down and giving up? Fact is, I don't want to do that. I almost did once, and it wasn't at a very good stopping point.
I have more work to do here, and being that I've come through some hardship (of my own making), I see no reason to let go of all God has given me this time: a chance to be something more than I was, the chance to be a mother to my children, to actually be a wife to someone eventually. I have a freakin choice today, to get messed up or not to, to give in to the temptation of one more trip out the doors of the program, but you know, I really don't want to. I want to live, and that's the plan... until someone else chooses something different for me.
I don't know who's reading this, and I hope one day that I too can impact someone's life positively. It's a great joy to know that someone may get a little out of this blog... my posts are just about me and the way I'm seeing things day to day. I'm trying not to preach any one thing to anybody- but as for me, I'm going to serve the Lord to the best of my ability, enjoying life and everything it has to offer, one day at a time.
God bless you all and hope your life is impacted today, if not by me, by someone else who's realized that this life IS for something. Good luck on finding your own purpose here...